Style Melbourne

Twittering “The Vagina Monologues”

As those of you who have been dutifully reading their A2 Age supplements and their Herald Sun arts sections will already know, on the 21st February a charity performance of The Vagina Monologues occurred. Some of you may even have went to it, as it was almost a sell out and had a whopping great ticket queue so long it actually held back the performance start.

I’m lucky enough to be Artistic Director for The Winestain Project- the group putting it all together, and as a consequence was privy to all the ups, downs random occurrences and cigarettes smoked backstage. (Note: all theatre crew smoke. It’s a fact. I gather it has something to do with them having to handle all the physical and technical aspects of a performance while dealing with a succession of different stressed out “artistes”). Here is a collection of my Tweets as we had our final rehearsal, finishing up just in time to open the doors wide open for the show!

“I’m Twittering the Vagina Monlogues in Melbourne, Australia today- we’ve raised over $10,000 for charity already – join and listen!

Pulled door bitch duty! Most actresses are here already- good sign 😉 3:15 PM

Director just swooped in, counted actresses list, then swooped out. Meeting in 10 minutes! 3:22 PM

Too much pink hair in face. Can’t read door bitch list. Will clash horribly with bright red suit tonight. Genius or insanity? 3:25 PM

Missed a deadline-fueled altercation between lighting master and the director earlier. That’s ok. They’re in love. 3:52 PM

One late actress! Tsk! 3:53 PM

Event photog Patrik giving impromtu camera lesson. Finds my $600 digital Fuji SLR “cute”. 3:59

20 actresses putting on costumes! Most seem in very high spirits. Lots of laughing! 4:05 PM

Photog won’t look in dressingrooms without a lady checking actresses are decent first. Old-skool gentleman. Maybe just smart! 4:09 PM

Our top billed star (Anne Phelan) never takes free tix from charity productions. Gave the director advice on how to score more big names! 4:14 PM

Slightly more males than yesterday’s rehearsal. Grand total- 4! Women- 26! 4:18 PM

Catering is 30 mins late! Getting sunburnt by keeping an eye outside for them. Face will match red suit. 4:30 PM

Geraldine Quinn describes backstage as “women behaving badly. Much evil cackling.” We note virtues of evil cackles. 4:38 PM

Poor young trainee stage-hand Bevan. Background in Scout productions. Thought our C#$% song and dance routine was great! 4:43 PM

Enter theatre to hear “I’ve lost my clitoris!” 4:57 PM

“Prop came off too early” yells director. “I got the cue!” yells Bevan. “Typical man!” shrugs actress. 5:07 PM

Yes, it’s the Australian production, so we use an esky as a prop. (that’s an icebox, people.) Beer not included. 5:19 PM

The crowd all screams “c#$%!” 5:41 PM

Director says “by the way, I give you permission to put in the fight and make up between me and the lighting director.” Waaay ahead of you. 5:53 PM

Amnesty are here! 6:09 PM

The actresses have been set free for free food! 6:25 PM

Overheard at dinner break “the end of civillization”! 6:40 PM

No more tweets for awhile, guys- got food to eat and a suit to put on! 6:41 PM

Ps. We have a ticket queue already! 7:05 PM”

Epilogue

So it was a success- nothing fell on anyone, nobody forgot their lines, there was much laughing at the right times, and Anne put on a performance so good I actually understand the whole “real professional” acting thing now. We raised about $1100 for charity, and had a great time.

And of course, we all celebrated long into the night. But I would never Tweet that.

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Words / Tweets – Brooke Jury

Photographer – Patrik Nemes PNP Media

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